Bourbon Ice cream and I scream

Sitting there and enjoying this delightfully delicious free ice cream was a moment held in silence. As the flavor that push through my taste buds and I watched the people walk by jealous of the ice cream they wished they had and were force to pay for. I thought about you and how much you would be enjoying a scoop of ice cream that you DIDN'T have to pay for by my side. Watching people, possibly pointing at some of them laughing together making the best with the corny jokes...possibly some would have been directed at me. In which I would have responded with the term "LAMEe" in a scratchy low pitch voice.
Today felt like a rush, nothing to get to in the end but not enough time. I hung out with a friend we played video games for a bit, went out to dinner with another friend and I'm not sure were I lost her in the conversation. I think maybe it was because we saw my friends at iHop. Which I was cool with(although it was a bit awkward cause I know my friend loves to listen in to pick up material to joke about later on)
But ce la vi. I led on answering her questions about myself, whic is fine but I felt like I was in an interview. ...hmmm.. I'll come back comment more on my day and night.
--
Juan

quien me dio?

Muchas veces me pregunto que puedo hacer con mi mente? Se me hace dificil recordad un momento en mi vida que yo no era ancioso. teniendo una dificuldes de respirar, de hablar, la voca se me llena de algodon y mi corazon palpita a una velosida que me espanta. Recientemente me e encontrado orando cuando estas cituaciones me ocurren. Llevo unos anos asi orando cuando tengo estos "encuentros" raros que mi cuelpo se siente debil y sin ganas. Cuando el aire tiene un sabor a la muerte y mi cabeza no se puedeacostar.. La oracion me a estado ayadando, pero si no es solamente la oracion es mas que eso. Es el dejar de mis pemsamientos en las manos de mi Dios. Pero tambien como cualquier humano siempre me encuentro debil. Y muchas veces no se como puedo orar. como que mi cuelpo se cansa de respirar y lo unico que siento es la palpita de mi corazon...y cada vez que palpita me duele. En Si es unos de mis momentos que mas odio. Muchas veces se que este es el momento que mas debo acercarme a Dios y dejar mimente en paz. Cojer control de mi vida y no dejar estos pensamientos correr mi vida. No como antes. Si se que puedo hacerlo, pero muchas veces se me hace dificil entender porque tengo que pasar por esto solamente para orar. No creo que esto parara, si un dia tengo hijos o hijas se que denuevo me voy a encontrar con estos momentos, preocupado de ellos. Esperando que ellos esten bien, por que si espero verme queriendos a mis hijo/hija.
Pero por el momento no tengo ese cargo, por el momento tengo una novia que en si la amo mucho. pienso en ella todos los dias y cada momento que pueda. Me preocupo por ella, esperando que todo este bien, que nadie se meta con ella. Tan Bella, tan fragil, tan delicada. Si tiene una voz fuerto su corazon palpita como la de un leon cuando grita a lost demas animales de la jungla que se hechen de regreso. Lleno de fuego y lena. La veo como ella trata de enamorarme, cada dia y cada noche. Como ella me hace falta. Como la quiero tanto y deseo estar al lado de ella. La estrano, como no solamente mi cuarto esta vacio sin ella, mi vida sin ella ficicamente a mi lado se siente tan vacia. Pero si tengo fe en verla y estar ficicamente al lado de ella.
Mi deseo es aguantarla otra vez mientras admiro y penetro sus ojos.
--
Juan

Mud eating, furr kissing sword wielding hogwarts wannabe and above all God is in the House.

Verse of the Day

“A song of ascents. I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.” Psalm 121:1-2 NIV
I read this today as I spent some time alone and saw how encouraging this was.
Almost felt like a kid who has been crying for a while after throwing a tantrum and finally getting
noticed or being given a lollipop. As I scramble to reflect on this, nothing really pops to mind. questions, comments and concerns boggle my mind leaving me blind and deaf to see past what I am reading. For now I know that God is with me. That He has heard my prayer and He wants me to continue looking for Him.I can't trust on myself, I must solely trust on Him who has the answer, a shoulder to lean on and a heart that Loves me. I sometimes wish I had the answer to my life and how are things going to work out. When I look at my reality it's depleting what life I have left(which is a lot but still...).and upon realizing this I know I must turn to God. As I realize that all of the things that are running loose in mind causing me to not think straight are not from Our Lord.Each thought is like sucker punch, unknowingly striking me from many directions. As my thoughts wrestle with me to pin me down for the count, I realize that I am not meant to fight this alone, and that I don't have to deal with like everyone else does either. I made the mistake into thinking that I was able to just pray them away, but I misunderstood that I needed to share them with you. Many times I ignored them and try not to let them bleed through thinking that would work, or hat I should do as I always do and deal with it when it comes. But many times it is best to share them with you so you too can see my angle and I can see yours.With you in fact both of us have seen prayers answered, not just by chance, no coincidence occurring inspiring us, lets continue prayer. Lets continue and see what God has for us both. Here are some pictures I have taken. They are quite random but they are way over due and from King Richards Fair.

Catching up

man its ben a while since I've blogged about something. SO much to say but no idea what to put in here. Well I did get to go to
King Richards Fair this weekend. I've never really been into the whole medieval,fairy tale, fantasy world. I'm more into the whole post apocalyptic, futuristic spacey world.
Well I do have some pictures on that but some are too gross for me to share(couple of guys eating mud) It is a humid cloudy day here in Boston MA,the day was beginning to go slow which was great since I was trying to accomplish so much but as the day dimmed darker into the evening. it speed up. That happened more after I woke up from a nap which I have to say was rather pointless.I spent the morning working on my agenda for my multimedia class. This included me doing research project ideas and see if it can be done in the software they will be using. Through out the day I broke into some stretches and some very light gaming. I think the most I have done is 20 minutes straight. HahaFor lunch I decided to do a eggplant sandwhich whic Joanne and I were going to do together but the time difference did not make that feasible for us. So we are obviously making it at separate times and just sharing about it on our individual blogs. I am also pretty tired of my music.